As you go on this journey to your life, there are times when you need to be on the journey alone but some times you have to walk with others. The trust and camaraderie you have with such people will depend on the following factors.

  • ·  Certainty in relationship
  • ·  Level of Credibility
  • ·  Self-Disclosure
  • ·  Listening
  • ·  Balance in relationship
  • ·  Self Concept


Certainty means you must be sure of the person you want to walk with on this journey. Certainty is the ability to predict a human being and his character. This develops over a period of time and with keen observation of one’s partner in a relationship. Interpersonal relationship develops depending on similarities and compatibility and certainty level in the relationship. When the level of uncertainty within a relationship is high, the greater the search for information. The higher also is the possibility of the interpersonal relationship breaking down. The more predictable a partner is in any relationship, the higher the level of certainty. When you are certain of your partner, trust develops and you and your partner will be more honest with each other. When you can predict the behaviour of your partner, he tends to be more open and honest with you. Generally, the ability to ascertain the behaviour of an individual paves the way for relationship building, which begins at a lower level and develops to a higher level. Similarities of interest, compatibility of beliefs, ideas, perceptions and opinions, understanding of needs and satisfaction of such in addition to recognition and acceptance of responsibilities existing between the partners in an interpersonal relationship help to develop a high level of certainty in a relationship. These factors, in turn, leads to effective communication between you and your partner. The higher the certainty level, the greater the cohesion in interpersonal relationship, consequently, the greater the information exchange between partners in a communication encounter, the lesser the areas of their personalities that become unknown to each other. When the uncertainty level is, however great, the search for information about a partner becomes higher and there is higher potential risk of the relationship breaking up, because the partners know less of each other and the unknown aspects of their lives seem greater. The communication between the partners will also become strained making them to be less close and the less compatible, which leads to, phased withdrawal, and may lead to total breakdown of the relationship. In this process of breakdown in relationship, the communication level becomes reduced and almost non-existent. Certainty in interpersonal relationship and communication hinges on trust, truth, faith and honesty. These uphold a relationship and enhance effective interpersonal relationship and by so doing interpersonal communication.


Credibility is of utmost importance in the journey you are embarking on with those partners you invite. It also forms the basis of interpersonal communication. The partners in an interpersonal communication must believe in each other. Credibility is enhanced through constancy, consistency of actions and predictable nature. When two people share the same interests and behave almost alike, they look credible to each other. A good example is the fact that a drunk believes what another drunk says, while a teetotaller doubts the words of a drunkard. Credibility tends to be subjective and it rises with the level of predictability, which is built over a long period. The more consistent a person is to others, the more credible he becomes and the more information people give to him. In cases that they find out that he is not credible or has been pretending, the faster the information dries up and the greater the chances of breaking up the relationship with him.

Credibility affects the elements of communication generally. People tend to believe a source if, over a long period, he has been consistent in what he transmits to others. If the source of the message is doubtful, the message becomes doubted. The message that is doubted by the receiver loses the credibility if it turns out to be false. The more credible a speaker is in an interpersonal relationship and communication, the greater the readiness of the partner to listen to him. This is sometimes made possible through the image of the source, his references and one’s own assessment of the source or sender of the message. It is this aspect that the con man uses in defrauding people, the victims when they tend to behave through as being good and perfect and they present a façade of perfection and an almost spotless image. In speech, manner, dressing and information exchange, swindlers and fraudsters go a long way in presenting an infallible image. The antics mentioned above convince their victims but immediately the truth becomes known, there is a great distrust, hatred and a total breakdown of interpersonal relationship and communication with such fraudsters. As you step out on your life journey you need to be careful and make sure you are not taking con men and fraudsters along. Your decision on the people you are inviting on your life journey matters because this will determine the success or otherwise of what comes out at the end of your journey here. Whether you are asleep or awake on your life journey depends on you and those you are walking with. However, two people cannot walk together unless they agree; and to agree they must know each other. The next step is DISCLOSURE. How well and far must YOU disclose yourself to those you are walking with?



2 thoughts on “tell me YOUR friends…

  1. This is fantastic. Certainty truly enhances relationship and I think you have really hit the nail on the head by your critical analysis of these factors that can help in building a healthy relationship with one another…… Thanks


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