“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
— Henry James
“Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
– Albert Camus
No one is made to be alone. Hence a baby is born into a family, the parents are most times there to take care of the baby after being born and in rare cases where one or both parents are unavailable through loss, there are people to take care of the baby. They may be members of the family or medical workers. The baby grows up among people. This shows that we are not loners. On the journey of your life, YOU are not a loner. YOU are expected to move with people, relate with them and develop long lasting and fulfilling relationships that take YOU through life. To develop and maintain a positive self-esteem and concept, you need people. As the Yoruba explained in their proverb; “ Ènìyàn l’aso mi, ènìyàn l’aso ènìyàn, bí mo báá r’éni léyìn mi; inú mi a dùn ara mi a yá gágá” (People are like clothes to people, when I look behind me and see people supporting me I am happy and fit), we all need others to achieve our aims of becoming.
create satisfying and lasting relationships
The individual is not expected to be a loner. He is expected to reach out and touch other people. Loving people and relating to them as individuals created by the Creator who created him is the only way he can do this. Every person is expected to count his age by the number of satisfying friends and relationships and not by the number of years. Whenever we have difficulties, crises and despair, the Almighty God always give us somebody that will stand by us. If we have not learnt how to form relationships, we may not be able to meet such individual. Even in cases where we meet such person, we may not be able to sustain such relationship and that will affect our ability to overcome the bad patches of our life. Our ability to communicate effectively, pour out our mind to somebody is therefore blocked. It is important to know that if we pray to God, and believe him and expect answers to our prayers, He will not come down but he will send people to us. Our inability to create, maintain and evolve enhancing interpersonal relationship with other people robs us of the help, which the Creator sends to us.
In creating relationships, it is important to know that, one can create both positive and negative ones. The relationships channeled towards negative aims will always lead to one’s destruction no matter how satisfying it is in the short run. The creation of relationships in order to take advantage of other people may seem lasting and satisfying initially, but in the long run, such relationship will always injure the initiator. A benefiting relationship in a working environment, family, institutions will always lead to well adjusted and positive self concept for those involved in them.
be honest, fair and truthful in all dealings
In your dealings with other people, you need to be fair, honest and truthful. This is because whatever you do to others, you do it to yourself. Your dealings with others will always be reflected back to you. When you are truthful, fair or honest, people will tend to always count on you, respect you and maintain relationships with you. They will also struggle to communicate and confide in you because they know you are always fair and honest. A truthful, honest and fair person is respected. Though people may not agree with him, they will always respect his views. When you deal with people on the precepts of fairness, justice, honour, truth and honesty in most cases, others will deal with you in like manner too. This then tends to improve your self-concept, self-image and self-esteem.
You need to remember that what you use in judging others is what will be used in judging you. If most of your relationships are based on the factors above, there is the tendency for you to develop self-confidence and ability to share with others information and communication wise.