“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” —Hafiz

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.”
Molière

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” —Marie Curie

“Life is hard at times. But when I overcome more challenges, I become much stronger then. So I’m going to embrace them.”- Life Hack

There is no hill without a valley and life’s journey is made up of peaks and valley. When you are at the peak , you are free , your view cover a wide area and you are on top. When you are in the valley of life, your view cannot be far and you are at the lowest point. Life  and self journey is an oscillation of peaks and valleys, ups and downs. When you find yourself in the valley or if your life is made up of more of the valley moments; what do you do? How have you been coping with the valleys of your life?

cope with the sad, the difficult times, the untoward and life’s valley

Life is not ‘a bed of roses’. It is not a straight road without bends or rough patches. Life has got its potholes, valleys and dollops of bitterness. Most people however expect life to be straight, unpolluted and sweet. This perception affects their self-concept, self-image and self-ideal. This kind of philosophy makes it difficult for them to cope whenever they come across any problems or a difficult patch in their lives. This may be marital breakdown, loss of loved ones,  liquidation of business(es), wrong accusation, jail terms or so many other things that make a man’s life hellish. During this period, such people may lose their sanity, move into depression and at times commit suicide because of inability to cope. The reason is that such people expect life to be without knocks, rough edges or the untoward. This perception does affect the development of their self-concept. What such people forget is the fact that the good smell of lavender cannot be got unless lavender is broken nor can one get the sweet juice from orange without squeezing it. It is also a truism that rough diamond is worthless until it is treated with chemical and cut before it becomes the best of jewellery.

In addition to inhibition of positive self-concept and self-esteem, such people are hindered from realising and understanding the lessons inherent in hardship and difficult times. They lose the initiative to grow, thereby losing the ability to cope with the difficult side of life. When an individual copes with the problem and difficulties of life, he becomes an example to people. His self-concept develops and his self-confidence increases. He will be further helped in developing a good shock absorber for living and going through life. He becomes a strong individual whom everybody can rest upon or even believe in. People will also look up to him as a source of strength during the time of trouble. If however he had broken down whenever he faced his own problems, then individuals will not be able to see the strength in him.

In order to develop a good self-concept, the individual must build a reservoir of strength, which prepares him for the difficult, the hard and the untoward. This ability helps him to navigate life and come out fulfilled and self-actualized.

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